OK, seriously, can someone explain this to me?
An ASR 9001, CDP enabled, interfaces in monitoring, CDP topology poller applied, and Network Topology Resource shows me this;

Top item, isn't able to discern the LOCAL interface name.
OK, maybe something else is going on, maybe I screwed up, maybe the configuration isn't right, let's check.
Oh look, a CDP Neighbor Resource using SWQL from Craig Norberg.I wonder what it shows on this router?
Huh.

So, an SWQL custom query will return the information correctly, but the NPM Topology Resource will not?
What is the possible reason for this?
Here are the pollers;

And here is the custom query in case anyone can make some type of guess. Because I can't figure out how SolarWinds can fail to inform it's own Topology resource with information it already has. Unfathomable.
SELECT I.InterfaceName AS [Local Interface], CDP.IPAddress AS [IP Address], DeviceId AS Device, DevicePort AS [Remote Interface], (SELECT N2.DetailsURL from Orion.Nodes N2 JOIN Orion.NodeIPAddresses NIP ON (N2.NodeID = NIP.NodeID) WHERE NIP.IPAddress = CDP.IPAddress) AS [_LinkFor_Device]
FROM Orion.NodeCdpEntry CDP
JOIN Orion.Nodes N ON (N.NodeID = CDP.NodeID)
LEFT OUTER JOIN Orion.NPM.Interfaces I ON ((CDP.NodeID = I.NodeID) AND (CDP.IfIndex = I.Index))
WHERE (CDP.NodeID = ${NodeID}) AND (N.IPAddress <> CDP.IPAddress)