If you are manually shutting the server down you need to manually fail-over to the secondary. In the event of an unexpected power outage that would shut the server down the secondary server would take over. You can test this by pulling the power cable from your primary server but you've essentially done this when you pulled the network out from under the server and it failed over properly.
When the network cable is pulled from the primary server with only one network interface there's no way for that server to know that the secondary has gone active so it assumes the active role. That's the nature of the FoE. If it's unable to communicate with it's partner the server it assumes it's down and therefore acts as primary.
You are presuming because the server shut down it was shut down manually by me, there are many reasons why the server may have shut down including being told to shut down by a Uninterruptible Power Supply because of a power failure, any secure server system would be protected by a UPS. The Server should never just suddenly lose power and should be safely shut down, that does not mean I am onsite to tell the server to fail-over.
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I've been researching your request and what seems like the most viable solution is the ability to execute a command on shutdown of the computer (which can be easily done through group policy) that forces the hand-off of the active state to the standby server. This can actually be done through the "nfcmd.exe" "MakeActive" command switch located under "C:\PROGRA~1\SolarWinds\FoE\R2\bin". Below is an example
If replicating and the newActive server is synchronized with the currently active server, makes the selected server the active server, then starts replication (in sync if possible) from new active server.
If not replicating, the command changes the active server from the current to the new active.
The newActive parameter indicates the server that is to be made the active server, and must be one of PRIMARY or SECONDARY. The newActive server must be a member of the partition to which the client issuing the command is connected.
The optimizeHighBWSwitch parameter indicates whether a switch between two servers connected via a high-bandwidth channel (Primary, Secondary) should be optimized by dropping pending updates for the remaining server (Tertiary) and requiring a subsequent resynchronization of the remaining server.
nfcmd localhost MakeActive SECONDARY false
That looks great look like it will do exactly what I need, Thank you I will do some testing with this.