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"The Cloud" Inspires Poetry from SysAdmins

While reading a recent blog post on SlashDot, my mind was opened by some touching SysAdmin poetry.  While not a lethal as Vogon verse, I promise it will alter your mood.


mystery-science-theater-3000-the-beatniks.jpg

FTFY by Neo-Rio-101

I don't want my data in the cloud

I don't want my data in a crowd

I don't want my data on the net

I don't want my data on diskette

I don't want my data over there

I don't want my data everywhere

I know the spooks don't give a damn

I do not trust you Uncle Sam!

Farts In Their General Direction by MrMeval


I do not play with the cloud clowns.
I own my own hardware and software.
I do not walk in the valley of DRM.
I do not beg to receive the fruits of my labors from datachangers.
I shall not want.

(untitled) by TheGratefulNet

Do you like data in the cloud?

I do not want it in the cloud,

I would not like it since I'm proud.

Would you like it here or there?

I would not want it anywhere.

I do not like the loss of data,

Yes, you can call me a cloud-hater.

Enough with the Cloud Crap Already by (unknown)

I don't trust you with my data.
I don't trust your security.
I don't trust your longevity.
I don't trust that you at some point in the future won't hold my data hostage.
I don't trust you to keep my data away from big brother.

I also don't trust my ISP!

FINALLY, I don't want to wait all day for a file to load.

Open Mic Monday

Have you been inspired too?

If you're looking for software that allows you to deploy a controlled edition of popular cloud functionality like secure file sharing, you may want to check out applications like SolarWinds Serv-U that can be deployed on your own infrastructure.  Or, if you wrote your own ode to the cloud, lay it on us in the comments below.

2 Comments
Level 20

That first one is hilarious!

Level 10

Live on Dr. Suess

About the Author
Software architect focusing on security. Spent ten years developing secure file transfer technology then joined SolarWinds as part of the Serv-U acquisition. Left SolarWinds for a full-time architect position in 2013, but continue to work with my partner Andy White on interesting file transfer projects for File Transfer Consulting, LLC, the firm we founded in 2011.