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Network Flowetry!

Product Manager

Hi! I’m Joe Reves, and I’m a Flow Nerd.

I’m the Product Manager for our NetFlow Traffic Analyzer, and I’ve been working at SolarWinds for a little over a year. I’m excited about flow analytics and the problems we can solve by examining and visualizing network flow information. I’m awfully enthusiastic about all types of flow technologies, particularly traffic sampling.

I spend a lot of time talking about flow—asking customers about their challenges, and how they use flow data and tools in their environment. I also talk with my colleagues about flow. Sometimes, until they get tired of hearing about it. Often, even after they get tired…

At a recent trade show, our own “Father of NetPath”—Chris O’Brien—decided he would have a little fun, and he started a rumor that I was compiling a book of flow poetry. Naturally, this prompted me to begin writing flow poetry:

Chris, mischievous

Craves the poetry of flow

Sampled flow, of course

joer

I promptly notified our team that flow poetry, or “Flowetry,” was ON. Shortly after midnight, our intrepid leader responded with this epic:

Woes of Flow

(A poem for Joe)

It uncovers source and destination

without hesitation.

Both port and address

to troubleshoot they will clearly assess.

Beware the bytes and packets

bundled in quintuplet jackets,

for they are accompanied by a wild hog

that will drown your network in a bog.

The hero boldly proclaims thrice,

sampling is not sacrifice!

He brings data to fight

but progress is slow in this plight.

Mav

This just goes to show I shouldn’t be tossing out literary challenges in email after midnight.

Sometime after that—yes, after midnight, but before daylight—our Product Marketing Manager finished her daily email backlog and offered this:

BAP emails abound

Find the bandwidth bandit now

Joy! Now I have alerts

Abigail

So far, Chris hasn’t coughed up any examples of Flowetry. We’re calling on him next.

In terms of rumors, I hear that our resident beat poet and Head Geek™ Leon Adato is shopping for a black turtleneck sweater and a beret. And some shades. I can’t wait to see this.

We’d like to invite you now to our first-ever Flowetry event!

Post your best network flow-themed poetry below—odes, ballads, sonnets, limericks, haiku… whatever your style, we’d like to hear from you. Anything goes, but keep those limericks clean.

Looking for more?  Complete the network-themed poem for a chance to win here: https://slrwnds.com/network-flowetry-blog

229 Comments
Level 12

data ebbs and flows

depending on how the wind blows

Solarwinds always makes my day

Especially when using NTA

Level 9
My  Flowetry is a fussy stance that 
 
Ethereal is not ether-reel
 
One is a flow checking app with bountiful merits, the other is a hashed up mash with a vocabulary demerit.
 
Causing my view to be alas, askance.
Level 10

Sung to the tune of Happy Birthday:

Hopeful Netflow to You
The Network's Like Glue
The Answer's Not Reboot
And There's No TP Too

Level 15

There once was a boy named Jack

That posted all his tricks on thwack

Hoping some day he'd be

Elected an MVP

Level 8

There once was a man at Vogue

Whose router had gone a bit rogue

A reboot he thought, but that left him distraught

A new router is what he bought. 

Level 10

Netflow where does it go.

With NTA I will know.

Hello, everybody

I'm so glad to see your flow

hello, everybody

everything you've done I know

Hello, to facebook

You've been quite busy there

Hello, to google

spending all day checking mail

Sung in the tune of https://youtu.be/Dz422GImiyU?t=67 - kid's music class obviously pervasive in my brain 

Level 12

Traffic, grabs a hold of me tightly
NetFlow will balloon, daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
I don't know
Let the transfer finish, then I'll go

Level 9

There once was a packet from Nantucket
Its bits had escaped from the bucket
They might have been all ones and zeros
But the function they serve make them heroes
And the Wireshark chasing them can suck it!

Level 10

When the users say our network is slow

Solarwinds' Flowetry keeps me in the know

With a quick review

Our complaints are few

Now I look like a network hero

Level 9

We have some switches from netgear their uptime is more than 10 years, our network they serve, they're testing our nerve, its time to replace them with procurve. 

Level 7

OH snap traps alerts

what are we going to

Login to Orion

 

 

That is all 🙂

MVP
MVP

To flow to flow to NetFlow I go

Where do I go but I flow with the go

Networks Networks Everywhere

Will they find my community …… string a long

Sting along Sing along watch that data go

Crypto Mine Crypto Mine .. oh shoot .. I think I need a new job!

Level 9

Flowetry poetry

That's the best I got HA!

Level 9

Roses are Red,

Spaghetti is Good,

NetFlow is Helpful,

Under the Hood.

 

Flowetry executed! 😕

Level 8

I'm not a poet and i know it 

Level 8

Packet will not go

Orion installed in cloud

Green lights are flashing

Level 10

IS-IS sleeps.
BGP peers are quiet.
Something must be wrong.

 

Level 10

Network Engineer made an oops
Logs filled up due to routing loops

Storage is quickly filling up
Dang near spilled my coffee cup

No matter how simple a change seems
Please remember to communicate with all teams

Level 7

twinkle twinkle network star
How I wonder where you are
Up above my screen you spy
waiting for my packets to die

Ein Netzwerk Paket schnell und geschwind. Fliegt durch den Äther wie ein Wind.

wo ist es nun oh je oh je, 

wir wissen es nicht, es war UDP

Discovery - A COVID-19 Tale

"Discover it all!" they said to me
"But, where are the creds?" I wrote, in my entreaty
"Just ask Fred" came the surly response
"Sadly, he's dead" said his colleagues, morose. 

Level 12

El VientoSolar es fantastico

Me puede ayudar rapido

Veo tu red y lo que haces

Espero mañana que no te pase

Level 9

An Ode to Network Operations

From alerts to tickets to contacts for on-call,

To bridges and change reviews, you do it all.

Late nights, early mornings, and weekends the same.

Fiber cuts and power outages always to blame

For incidents and problems and maintenance galore.

With caffeine and Thwack, monitoring is no longer a chore.

May the free time be plenty and the outages few,

You've earned it NOC people, our hat's off to you.

Level 8

I Had a Flow

I needed to control and monitor the Flow

NTA gave me the Dive in to the Flow

The Flow is taken care of

NetFlow

Flowetry

Level 9

nodes are red,

unmanaged blue,

I can't see flows 

with the GPO on my OU

It covers near

it covers far

Widens my truth 

with the Flowetry power

knowledge I seek

knowledge I gain

each and every day

its Flowetry again

 

Level 9

Run packet Run

I like those Flowetry Videos

 

 

Level 10

It would appear

A comment must appear here

To avoid Red X

Level 8

Yesterday was a flow
Today is a flu
Tomorrow is unknown

Still waiting though
when L2 can be supported
on the NTA flow.

MVP
MVP

packets are like a box of chocolates

without the correct checksum you never know what you are going to get.

Level 10

Ring around the rosie

We're all at home cozy

VPN'd in

Remote work can begin

Don't take all my bandwidth!

 

 

Level 10

Cat5 is red

Fiber is blue

I lost connectivity

The wrong one you pulled

Level 8

I thought you might be interested in this,@mspencer ...

Flowetry oh Flowetry, why do you hate poetry? 

 

 

Level 9

Bap bap

flow will go

bap bap

but will flow be read?

bap bap

flow man, flow

Level 10

People in the know

Always go with the flow

Level 12

oh, latency

why are you always late, you see

you give me the shivers with all of your jitters

 and my thresholds be exceeding thee.

Level 9

My Flowetry Submission:

Flow Disruption

God made the network;

Satan, the loathed engineer

gave us spanning tree.

Level 10

Red lights mean stop

Green lights mean go

what would we do

without Netflow

Level 7

Looking for circuits

One device has not been found

Documention?

 

Level 11

Monitor NetFlow? 
Yes, that's fine, 

The question is, 
Version five or nine? 

Level 20

In an effort to stop the spread of coronavirus, all TCP connections are being converted to UDP to eliminate handshakes.

Level 8

the network is down?!
all my lights look green to me
go bug someone else

MVP
MVP

we now need to know

with the use of firewall flow

because our staff now need Teams

but now use too many streams

they used to use Skype

but because of the hype

are now using Teams

and have discovered memes

 

Level 11

Why not, I'll give it a shot. 


Work from home we must, in this turbulent time
Then I saw Flowetry, and my chance to rhyme
I thought to myself, what could I write?
I don't know Netflow, except from the SW site
Then I realized, writing Flowetry is fun
Until that next emergency, and I have to run
But how does Netflow work, if we're all on VPN?
Hopefully someone can answer in verse, and we both get a ten!


Hahah, thanks everyone!

In ancient days
Packets in my network prepared for endless travel
Across the seas, where folks once sailed
To immortality, but now we know
This is no journey. A long, routed path
Is all the voyage there will ever be.
Already it is not like life. I shan’t
Caress the shores of Bali,
Only their images: painted on a screen,
Not vivid like a bowl of fruit,
But pale, backlit, always virtual.
The data will flow from server to client.
Rich with information, these lustrous codes,
Are the source of these images.
I see now in the NTA
After the trek downstairs, into the NOC
On further, painfully, I see much more—
Segments in the networks, treasures of traffic flowing,
As if I weren’t just a network designer
But the living god in the net itself
Surrounded by their glistering displays—
Yet everything began in these few thousand
Bytes of gifs and jpegs. Our online photo collections
Of what life was, and never, late or soon,
Will be again.

Level 9

Flowetry, flowetry, wherefore art thou, flowetry?

Level 11

Flowers for devices seems to be the key
Flowerty from solarwinds, I propose to thee
Use it wise, and you will see,

That with great power, comes great responsibility.

Level 9

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

I suck at this.

Solarwinds.

About the Author
More than 30 years experience with IT in a variety of industries. 15 years of managing information technology personnel from interns to senior level network engineers and consultants. Emphasis on management of hardware and software, user education and training, and customer problem resolution ranging from desktop to data centers. Innovative problem solver enjoys challenges utilizing solid technical expertise. Cooperative, and responsive to customer needs. Accountable budget planner, with prudent monthly oversight of actual expenditures. Skilled communicator, excellent listener and effective writer. Specialties: Building High Performance Teams • Effective Interpersonal Communications • Personnel and Customer Management Skills • Creative Problem Solving and Decision Making • Process Development, Assessment, and Improvement • Million-Dollar Budget Management • Technical Operations Management • PC, Workstation, LAN, WAN Administration