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Hands-On With SolarWinds Sandwich Monitor 1.0

Finally out of Beta, today we’re releasing our newest Inventory Management product, SolarWinds Sandwich Monitor.  This addition to the SolarWinds product line will allow you to monitor and manage IT Consumables Inventory across your enterprise. Administrators finally get visibility into cold, high humidity environments via exclusive Sandwich Packet Sniffer technology.

“With Sandwich Packet Sniffer technology, I never have to stick my nose into a disgusting old sandwich bag”, said Dex Manley dexml, Sandwich Demo Product Manager. “You know how sometimes you see what looks like a ham and cheese waaaay in the back, and you’re really hungry?  Chain of custody for assured freshness can be very difficult to verify, especially when it’s not yours.  With Sandwich Monitor I never have to open the seal and get blasted with moldy baloney odor again.” said Dex.

SandwichMonitorStack.jpg

In addition to freshness monitoring, SolarWinds Sandwich Monitor also includes Sandwich Component Monitoring with SandwichStack, making it easy to zero in on sandwich components which are not meeting freshness or taste SLAs.  SandwichInsight with Expert Advice makes it easy to resolve sandwich performance issues with minimal effort.

SandwichMap allows you to quickly locate sandwiches which have gone on walkabout.  Finally, ReheatMaps provide ideal orientation for re-heating warm sandwiches in a microwave.  ReheatMaps assure sandwiches are warmed evenly, even in challenging microwave RF environments.

I’m really happy about SandwichGPS.  No matter how many sticky notes you put on a container, they seem to magically shed just before lunchtime.  Sandwich Monitor can pinpoint thieves quickly, allowing quick retribution like ACL-ing out their YouTube traffic and blocking Facebook.  It was a stretch feature for the PM and Dev teams and it’s amazing it made it into the first version.

I think what I like best is that Sandwich Monitor is completely free, as we recognize all IT professionals, not just the amazing members of the thwack community, would really like to more proactively manage their sandwiches. It’s not enough to think you know where your sandwich is, and troubleshooting its disposition hours after coworkers have piled their huge lunchboxes all over it can be really frustrating.  And closing sandwich-related help desk tickets? Fuggedaboudit.

53 Comments
MVP
MVP

ROFLMAO !!!!

Level 13

While at first I thought this post was a bunch of bologna, I quickly realized what a turkey I was for thinking that. Boy, do I have egg on my face now. It's even better that you will lettuce have this software for free. I'm looking forward to the next SolarWinds Lab (or maybe a mayo clinic?) so we can ketchup on the latest features.

I hope you don't mind my cheesy puns and rye humor here. I wouldn't want you to have a beef with me.

Level 9

Love it! When are you announcing the version of Mobile that uses the iPhone's Cattle iProd app to alert the on call person when a problem arises?

Level 17

You, sir, win the internet today. Please come down to the office to claim your certificate.

Level 13

I guess I just got excited. This is the greatest thing since sliced bread!

Puns. They're what I do.™

Level 17

Is this releasing with a SolarWinds SnackTime Monitor tool in order to present a full Mealtime Overview?

Does this include DPI?

Dill Pickle Inspection, that is.

Level 17

good question.  I didn't think about that.  very important to have. 

Agreed - it's a vital component to a quality SandwichStack.

Level 11

This -- This is Glorious.

I'll take the unlimited license, please.

Also, will this subject be in the next version of the Solarwinds Certified Professional exam?

MVP
MVP

ROFLCOPTER

Thanks for the laugh today, SolarWinds!

Level 17

But what about when they call the Help Desk for Pizza related questions?

Level 17

Are the Licenses transferable? I mean my monitored sandwich today will only be a memory tomorrow - will I be able to reuse that probe without exhausting my deploy-able elements.

  

            I'm thinking I just need the SLX license. (Sandwich License Unlimited) instead of the SL250.

Level 13

Those issues are not supported with the officially-licensed release, but I've heard they can be handled with a pie-rated  version.

Level 7

Loved this!  Wonderfully creative.  Too bad it made me hungry for lunch all over again ...

Can I load my MIB for the Panini Press?

RT

Level 13

+1.  There are so many ways to reply, why, I don't even

Level 13

Unlimited free licenses.  This is actually a hosted solution and part of our Cloud group.

Level 13

Remind them that is PaaS, Pizza as a Service and you're on the phone with them already.

Level 13

MIB walk the Panini Press to grab the MIBs.  If it's part of MIBformanGril2, it may already be in the database.

While looking at the Panini MIB, I was thinking of using a custom polling cycle since a typical cycle of ninety seconds is to wide.

Ninety seconds is an eternity in Sandwich Pressing Time (SPT).  In ninety seconds you can watch a sandwich go from slightly warm to charcoal. 

So a five to ten second polling cycle is in order.  Also some custom code to read the Orion database that will trip a buzzer and a light when the proper temperature is reached will also be needed since waiting for a text or an email incur to much latency.

RT

MVP
MVP

I thought MIB = More Included Bacon

Level 17

What's the OID for your internal Temperature Sensor? I'll be building an alert around that.. also, does your press have a Condiment Sensor?

Level 13

This.  So, this. sqlrockstar

Level 17

Is my Sandwich Virtual ?

Level 17

Ketchup on a sandwich? trigger an Alert!

Level 17

Is there a way to delineate what is and is not a sandwich to the monitor?  My fear is that it may inadvertently pick up a burger and give it an invalid classification thus triggering the ketchup alert, or a high temp alert. 

Level 17

We're going to need to set thresholds for Protein...

Alert if

   Protein is < Sandwich Thick

&

  Protein Slice Count > 1  (To Rule out Single Patties)

Don't ask me how to factor in the option of using Texas Toast, that could be thicker than a Bun itself. I need to sleep on this one.

In our case we use temperature OID .1.3.6.1.4.1.9.9.719.1.15 since it is the parent for the Cisco UCS Panini P220 M4 Blade Press.   Of course the unit is a double wide blade taking up two slots.

We get one Panini Blade Press (PBP) free with every fourth chassis we buy.  Make sure you ask your Cisco reps about the free PBP!

Bon Appétit!

RT

Level 17

We'll also need to adjust if there are crispy onions, or perhaps a fried egg.  Would the egg be counted as a slice, or would there need to be an additional count of protein involved.  Oh no, I'm thinking transform poller here. 

Level 17

I'm now thinking of using the 'Sandwich Contents' Tabular Poller now, coupled with the 'Section Level Count' for # of slices; this will tell me if we have Ham (Row ID 4), Turkey (Row ID 5), Sausage Types - Salami, Pepperoni, etc. (Row ID 6), Beef (Row ID 7), Fish (Row ID 8), Chicken (Row ID 9), Pork (Row ID 10), Egg (Row ID 11), Other (Row ID 12)     ...and add the 'Sandwich Level Thickness' - to expose any  'Patty' situations.

Row ID's 4 through 12 should include all your protein groups

Yup, polling for the sandwich content Tables will be much easier.

Level 13

clubjuggle‌, you sir, have won the internet.

the-internet.png

3190769121_ac054a14d9[1].jpg

Level 10

Darn... Got to have this! LOL!!!

I'm insulted that SolarWinds did not approach me for the beta. Who knows if this app will work with my custom Buffalo Salmon Sauerkraut Panini envionment?! Outrageous.

"SEND US YOUR UNKNOWN SANDWICHES!"

Level 9

Can we get a coffee pot monitor to determine the clown who took the last cup of coffee, didn't make a fresh pot and didn't bother to shut the burner off???? Love coming in to the aroma of a burned out coffee pot....

Level 17

Sandwiches only, I think there is a plan to include other food types like Pizza or Casserole in teh next revision, but;

   We will have to wait for the release of SolarWinds Beverage Monitor 1.0

BM 1.0

MVP
MVP

I think that we have forgotten it needs to be Pastrami enabled.

Level 17

'Sandwich Contents' Tabular Poller ROW ID 7 (Beef Option) Covers this.

Of course if you have Turkey or Pork Pastrami that Row ID would show your value, and then Row ID 12 (OTHER) - would display your Pastrami / brined Meat option.

MVP
MVP

I actually mis-described MIB earlier.

It is really Meat In Bread

Level 12

you guys crack me up.  love the video!!!!

Level 14

Awesome tool.. Great work, SW!!!  By the way, while you're at it... I'd like to see an an app for this tool that runs in all smartphone O/S (Android, IOS and Windoze).   That way, I could monitor the health and availability of my meal in real-time.   

Level 12

Won't this need an update of the Orion Database to the new Onion Database ?

Are the sandwiches instances of a sandwich class or they are all different objects ? Because, at least the sandwich I know, are not reusable objects.

When you use Sandwich Monitor 1.0, your sandwiches are garbage collected twice !

Level 9

Is there an environmentally hardened version for vegemite?

Also, the BLT sandwich being monitored needs some serious attention.

One side is too soggy, the other side is too dry, and the tomato is completely gone

Level 9

lol

MVP
MVP

This is brilliant!

Level 14

I've just finished my lunch, but having read this I'm hungry again.  Absolutely wonderful,. I neeeeeed one. Do I ask here to beta the 1.1 release?

Level 12

So interesting but am so hungry, can you send me the exact sandwich via email?

Level 11

Make it two.

Level 12

  I'm thinking I just need the SLX license

About the Author
I'm the Head Geek and technical marketing director at SolarWinds, (which basically means I'm an mature geek in the services of the product team). When I say geek I mean Geek, with extreme prejudice. I started writing assembly on my Apple II, got a BITNET email account in 1984, ran a BBS @ 300 baud, survived X.25, abused Token Ring, got some Netscape.com JavaScript award love in '96, and my hack flight notification service still backs aa.com. These feats of course made me quite the chick magnet for many years. Along the way in various jobs I’ve been a developer, SE, PM, PMM, and now principal evangelist. (Let us all join hands around the server.) Over 10 years at SolarWinds I’ve hatched our online live demo systems, managed the SolarWinds Certified Professional program, launched the Head Geek program, helmed SolarWinds Lab, and these days I’m focused on Cloud, DevOps and helping IT admins learn the new skills they’ll soon need not just to get ahead, but even maintain their roles. I’m always looking for new and more fiendish ways to use our products- just like our customers. And when I have a few spare minutes I fly a little, when the weather is good.