Day 12: Forgive

               Forgive, I feel like I’ve done a lot of this in my life time.  Ok, I’ll be honest, perhaps just in the last few years have I actually forgiven. I didn’t know how to forgive since we never really forget things.  Time heels and forgiveness is automatic, right?  I wish, but when we loop said memories time doesn’t get to separate us from the feeling of hurt, anger, or other emotions.  Instead we relive these moments almost with the same amount of emotion as before but with responses we wish we could do for them.  Alas, we are in the moment of unforgiveness.

                Forgiving is powerful.  That said, I figured I would be able to share how I have learned to forgive finally in my life.  When I was 33 years old I had a lot of life events happen to myself that, well, almost drowned me.  I had a choice to either be consumed by negative feelings or overcome these feelings. By the way, this is easy to write but not easily attainable…  Here are something things I have had to do to let things go and forgive.

1. Notice negative thoughts and label them as such
   1. Recognizing a negative thought and saying “hey this is a ____ thought” helped me to stop them from looping in my mind.  Similar to filtering by adding custom properties to them and then excluding.  (You know I had to bring in the tech stuff, lol… )
2. Ask for forgiveness
   1. Ask for forgiveness for my negative thoughts and the ones I’ve created in response.  This can be to yourself, God, meditation, or anything that you believe in.
      1. I know this sounds WEIRD but this is literally what helped me.
3. Pray (once again or anything you believe in) for forgiveness to the person that created the need for forgiveness.  To wish them well and to have a rewarding life.
   1. Asking to forgive the ones that have hurt you is tough, but this is what helped me to balance the scales on wrong or right.  To allow me to let go of things and create an even field of emotions.
4. Ask to be forgiven by people you may have hurt
   1. I was asking for forgiveness to anyone I may have hurt and to allow them to have peace from these feelings.

Forgive, this word has helped me grow as a person and I just wish that I would’ve figured this out at a younger age.  Though I wouldn’t be the person I am without having the life I’ve lived to date. Something about our “having” a past allows us to grow and learn to define our pathways in the future.  Allowing us to be better prepared for bumps and potholes and knowing how to navigate around them as we march forward in our life.