Network Flowetry!

Hi! I’m Joe Reves, and I’m a Flow Nerd.

I’m the Product Manager for our NetFlow Traffic Analyzer, and I’ve been working at SolarWinds for a little over a year. I’m excited about flow analytics and the problems we can solve by examining and visualizing network flow information. I’m awfully enthusiastic about all types of flow technologies, particularly traffic sampling.

I spend a lot of time talking about flow—asking customers about their challenges, and how they use flow data and tools in their environment. I also talk with my colleagues about flow. Sometimes, until they get tired of hearing about it. Often, even after they get tired…

At a recent trade show, our own “Father of NetPath”—Chris O’Brien—decided he would have a little fun, and he started a rumor that I was compiling a book of flow poetry. Naturally, this prompted me to begin writing flow poetry:

Chris, mischievous

Craves the poetry of flow

Sampled flow, of course

joer

I promptly notified our team that flow poetry, or “Flowetry,” was ON. Shortly after midnight, our intrepid leader responded with this epic:

Woes of Flow

(A poem for Joe)

It uncovers source and destination

without hesitation.

Both port and address

to troubleshoot they will clearly assess.

Beware the bytes and packets

bundled in quintuplet jackets,

for they are accompanied by a wild hog

that will drown your network in a bog.

The hero boldly proclaims thrice,

sampling is not sacrifice!

He brings data to fight

but progress is slow in this plight.

Mav

This just goes to show I shouldn’t be tossing out literary challenges in email after midnight.

Sometime after that—yes, after midnight, but before daylight—our Product Marketing Manager finished her daily email backlog and offered this:

BAP emails abound

Find the bandwidth bandit now

Joy! Now I have alerts

Abigail

So far, Chris hasn’t coughed up any examples of Flowetry. We’re calling on him next.

In terms of rumors, I hear that our resident beat poet and Head GeekTm Leon Adato is shopping for a black turtleneck sweater and a beret. And some shades. I can’t wait to see this.

We’d like to invite you now to our first-ever Flowetry event!

Post your best network flow-themed poetry below—odes, ballads, sonnets, limericks, haiku… whatever your style, we’d like to hear from you. Anything goes, but keep those limericks clean.

Looking for more?  Complete the network-themed poem for a chance to win here: https://slrwnds.com/network-flowetry-blog

Anonymous
Parents
  • With apologies to Eminem

    You better lose yourself in the traffic, the packets

    You own it, you better never let it go

    You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to save dough

    This TCP session terminates the router expires the flow

    The sFlow sampling, through UDP packets its collecting

    Combination of network and applications correcting

    Make you king, as we move toward an SDN world order

    A normal life is borin', but super stardom's close to the fabric border

    The controller grants the flow

    And goes to the table

    The policies drop the DoS attacks

    Security to performance to capacity, NetFlow provides veracity

    VoIP, e-Commerce and CRM over YouTube and BitTorrent take priority

    NetFlow, J-Flow, sFlow, NetStream and IPFIX give up their tricks

    Port 80 port 443 show you the HTTP and traffic identity pipe density

    Alerts about application propensity

    So the flow show goes you knows despite my bad prose

    Da da dumb da dumb da da

    You better lose yourself in the traffic, the packets

    You own it, you better never let it go

    You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to save dough

    This TCP session terminates the router expires the flow

Comment
  • With apologies to Eminem

    You better lose yourself in the traffic, the packets

    You own it, you better never let it go

    You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to save dough

    This TCP session terminates the router expires the flow

    The sFlow sampling, through UDP packets its collecting

    Combination of network and applications correcting

    Make you king, as we move toward an SDN world order

    A normal life is borin', but super stardom's close to the fabric border

    The controller grants the flow

    And goes to the table

    The policies drop the DoS attacks

    Security to performance to capacity, NetFlow provides veracity

    VoIP, e-Commerce and CRM over YouTube and BitTorrent take priority

    NetFlow, J-Flow, sFlow, NetStream and IPFIX give up their tricks

    Port 80 port 443 show you the HTTP and traffic identity pipe density

    Alerts about application propensity

    So the flow show goes you knows despite my bad prose

    Da da dumb da dumb da da

    You better lose yourself in the traffic, the packets

    You own it, you better never let it go

    You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to save dough

    This TCP session terminates the router expires the flow

Children
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