Hi! I’m Joe Reves, and I’m a Flow Nerd.
I’m the Product Manager for our NetFlow Traffic Analyzer, and I’ve been working at SolarWinds for a little over a year. I’m excited about flow analytics and the problems we can solve by examining and visualizing network flow information. I’m awfully enthusiastic about all types of flow technologies, particularly traffic sampling.
I spend a lot of time talking about flow—asking customers about their challenges, and how they use flow data and tools in their environment. I also talk with my colleagues about flow. Sometimes, until they get tired of hearing about it. Often, even after they get tired…
At a recent trade show, our own “Father of NetPath”—Chris O’Brien—decided he would have a little fun, and he started a rumor that I was compiling a book of flow poetry. Naturally, this prompted me to begin writing flow poetry:
Chris, mischievous
Craves the poetry of flow
Sampled flow, of course
I promptly notified our team that flow poetry, or “Flowetry,” was ON. Shortly after midnight, our intrepid leader responded with this epic:
Woes of Flow
(A poem for Joe)
It uncovers source and destination
without hesitation.
Both port and address
to troubleshoot they will clearly assess.
Beware the bytes and packets
bundled in quintuplet jackets,
for they are accompanied by a wild hog
that will drown your network in a bog.
The hero boldly proclaims thrice,
sampling is not sacrifice!
He brings data to fight
but progress is slow in this plight.
This just goes to show I shouldn’t be tossing out literary challenges in email after midnight.
Sometime after that—yes, after midnight, but before daylight—our Product Marketing Manager finished her daily email backlog and offered this:
BAP emails abound
Find the bandwidth bandit now
Joy! Now I have alerts
So far, Chris hasn’t coughed up any examples of Flowetry. We’re calling on him next.
In terms of rumors, I hear that our resident beat poet and Head Geek Leon Adato is shopping for a black turtleneck sweater and a beret. And some shades. I can’t wait to see this.
We’d like to invite you now to our first-ever Flowetry event!
Post your best network flow-themed poetry below—odes, ballads, sonnets, limericks, haiku… whatever your style, we’d like to hear from you. Anything goes, but keep those limericks clean.
Looking for more? Complete the network-themed poem for a chance to win here: https://slrwnds.com/network-flowetry-blog
Top Comments
jreves, here's something I offered for Thwack members' enjoyment in 2015. It references NTA; I'll offer it again for those who aren't ready to dig through the archives to see my tribute to Donna Summer…
With apologies to Eminem
You better lose yourself in the traffic, the packets
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to save dough
This TCP session terminates…
With a nod of appreciation to Robert Frost's classic, I offer you this:
“Whose bits are these?” I’d like to know.
“What is their source? Where do they go?”
“Why are they filling up the WAN
And causing…