This week I'm down in San Antonio speaking at the Cisco IP Telecommunications Users' Group (CIPTUG) conference. I'm giving a 2 part seminar on QoS based loosely upon the QoS webcasts that we've done and posted to solarwinds.com/geek. Thus far it's been a great event and we've had some deep conversations on QoS and the implementation within some of the attendees networks. I expect tomorrow will be even better as we'll get into traffic shaping, congestion avoidance, and Cisco's Class Based Quality of Service (CBQoS). The folks here at this event center really have it together - projector screens behind and to the left of the presenter, enough whiteboards to satisfy even this geek, and free ice cream sundaes!!!

Rather than making the drive back home to Austin tonight I decided to stay over in San Anonio. I've written before complaining about hotels that don't provide free wi-fi and the like and so tonight it's only fair that I give a shout out to the Drury Inn and Suites that I'm staying at down here. Free wireless internet access (802.11n no less), free breakfast, and a free happy hour with free food and drinks. I think i have a new favorite place to stay when I travel!

As I'm sitting here in my room enjoying the rest of my free drink (I sweet-talked the bartender into using an extra large glass, BTW, she's one of my new best friends) and watching The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring, I can't help but wonder if maybe Elves are real and if I might even work with one or two of them.

Now, hear me out. I've got this friend at SolarWinds. He's a dead-ringer for Legolas from the Lord of the Rings and I'm starting to wonder about a few things. For instance, the Elves live in a place called "Rivendell" and he lives in a place called "Riverplace". Coincidence? I think not. There's more... He has an accent. He says it's because he's from Australia, but honestly, have you ever been to Australia? How sure are we that it's even a real place? Maybe the movie 'Australia" was propaganda that the Elven people funded just to make us think that it's a real place and to throw us off track... Need more proof ?  Sometimes he speaks in a language that I can't understand. He says it's French, but I took French in high school and I can't understand a word of it. Get this - there's another guy here in the office that also speaks this same language and guess what - he has an accent too!!!  He says he's from Belgium. Again, anyone ever actually been to Belgium? More than that, if they're from Australia and Belgium - why aren't they speaking Australian and Belgian??? My theory is that either these places don't actually exist in our dimension and instead, the locations where we think they are contain wormholes that act as gateways to the Elven world; or, maybe the Elves have ruled Australia and Belgium for a long time and we just never new about it. They're obviously a superior species so how hard would it really be for them to pull this off? I really don't see any other possibilities...

A note to my Elven friends...
Quel undome,

Cormamin lindua ele lle.

The time has come for you to reveal your true selves and share with this human world the magical secrets of your race. I know from the dozen or so times that I've read the The Lord of the Rings Trilogy that you have much to offer - super human strenghth, agility, hearing and eyesight, a near immortal ability to delay aging, uncanny skills at bow shooting and riding giant hyena-like wolves, and the ability to control the rivers surrounding your homeland. Share with me your secrets and I will honor them for all of my human life. I will repay you by teaching you about Quality of Service in an IP based network and by sharing with you the secrets of making Texas chili.

Aa' lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha,
Josh

 

Yeah, I'm a little bit crazy. That's what happens when you spend too much time in the subfloors of a datacenter breathing in virtual private clouds...


Flame on...
Josh
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