It’s the most wonderful time of year. The time to come together as a community and – through pure opinion and preference – crown someone (or something) VICTORIOUS.

 

SolarWinds Bracket Battle 2019 is here. And, for its 7th anniversary, have we got something truly thought-provoking, debate-inducing, and oddly… meta for you.

 

The Premise:

It’s a well-known and well-understood fact that not all superpowers are created equal. Even amongst those blessed with supernatural or mutant abilities, someone’s going to end up with the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

 

And so we ask: If one were to end up in the shallow end of the superpowers pool, would it be better to just be normal? Or, is having ANY power – even something as random and seemingly worthless as the ability to turn into a bouncing ball (Bouncing Boy, DC Comics, 1961) or to turn music into light (Dazzler, Marvel, 1980) – better than nothing at all?

 

If the chance to don a super suit, hang at the mutant mansion, or chill with the League is worth enduring an endless stream of ridicule and continuous side-eye, then what IS the ULTIMATE USELESS SUPERPOWER?

 

Would you rather have the chance to parley with some tree rodents or parlez-vous binary? Superhuman strength for a millisecond or lactokinesis (which is basically milk mind-control)?

 

These are just some of the real head-scratchers we have in store for you in this year’s SolarWinds Bracket Battle.

 

Starting today, 33 of the most random and useless superpowers that we could imagine will battle it out until only one remains and reigns supreme as the BEST of the WORST.

 

We picked the starting point and initial match-ups; however, just like in Bracket Battles of the past, it’ll be up to the THWACK community to decide the winner.

 

Don’t Forget to Submit Your Bracket: If you correctly guess the final four bracket contestants, we’ll gift you a sweet 1,000 THWACK points. To do this, you’ll need to go to the personal bracket page and select your pick for each category. Points will be awarded after the final four contestants are revealed.

 

Bracket Battle Rules:

 

Match-Up Analysis:

  • For each useless superpower match-up, we’ve provided short descriptions of each power. Just hover over or click to vote to decipher the code.
  • Unlike in past years, there really isn’t an analysis of how the match-up would work because – well, let’s just say we want your imaginations to run wild. (Quite frankly, these are all pretty useless to begin with, it’s hard to really grasp how you'd make some of these abilities work to your advantage.)
  • Anyone can view the bracket and match-ups, but in order to vote or comment, you must have a THWACK® account.

 

Voting:

  • Again, you must be logged in to vote and trash talk
  • You may vote ONCE for each match-up
  • Once you vote on a match-up, click the link to return to the bracket and vote on the next match-up in the series

 

Campaigning:

  • Please feel free to campaign for your preferred form of uselessness, or debate the relative usefulness of any entry (also, feel free to post pictures of bracket predictions on social media)
  • To join the conversation on social media, use the hashtag #SWBracketBattle
  • There’s a PDF printable versionof the bracket available, so you can track the progress of your favorite picks

 

Schedule:

  • Bracket release is TODAY, March 18
  • Voting for each round will begin at 10 a.m. CT
  • Voting for each round will close at 11:59 p.m. CT on the date listed on the Bracket Battle home page
  • Play-in battle opens TODAY, March 18
  • Round 1 OPENS March 20
  • Round 2 OPENS March 25
  • Round 3 OPENS March 28
  • Round 4 OPENS April 1
  • Round 5 OPENS April 4
  • The Most USEFUL Useless Superpower will be announced April 10

 

If you have any other questions, please feel free to comment below and we’ll be sure to get back to you!

 

What power is slightly better than nothing at all? We’ll let the votes decide!

 

Access the Bracket Battle overview HERE>>