This is our last full week of the challenge (as well as the last full week of 2018) and I'm committed to making the most of every moment, every insight, and every comment—all of which have been both a joy and a privilege to read. Here is my summary of both the lead authors and a selection of comments. Thank you to everyone who took the time during a busy holiday week to check in and participate.
**** The Authors *****
Sydney Moorhead, Copy Editor/Content Specialist, Corporate Marketing
Sydney is one of the younger authors to contribute this month, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a wealth of wisdom she's already acquired to share with her younger self. I thought her observation that, "There will always be things that are hard, but your ability to deal with them will get better," was especially poignant. As was the wise-beyond-her-years awareness that, "Things happen for a reason." But what really got me was this piece of advice:
"Follow the writing, wherever it takes you."
Steve Carleson, MVP
Steve's post is a reminder of how deeply a careless comment can affect others, how we need to be kind with our words, and how we need to work—and support each other—as we overcome some of the setbacks of our childhood. It's also important to remember that we all may work in the same industry, but we come to it from different directions, which is why Steve's advice to himself is so interesting and touching:
"It is OK to push yourself; it is OK to want to learn more! Never let anyone else tell you to stop trying to improve yourself."
Sascha Giese, Head Geek™
Sascha began with comforting words that I think we all would have appreciated when we were young: "So, young Sascha, you survived it. Why have you been so scared in the first place?"
But then I feel he offered advice which is clearly specific to his experience as a young adult, but again, is valuable for many (perhaps all) of us:
"So, young Sascha, learn to cook earlier," and even more tellingly: "So, young Sascha, don’t waste your life living in a snail shell. Get out there, see things, experience things, and explore the world."
At the end of his letter, Sascha comes back to that message of comfort and re-assurance,
"Oh, and finally, young Sascha, everything else you do is right. Some decisions won't be so smart, but they will always feel right by the time you make them, and it always comes out for the better."
Adam Timberley, MVP
Like many who have considered what they would tell their younger self, Adam was concerned about irrevocably altering the chain of events that led him to become who he was. But his response to this was both unique and (I think) brilliant:
"So rather than advise myself, I choose to simply reassure myself."
But the method that he would send this reassurance was pure, undiluted, awesome geekery:
"I would appear to myself as a ragged old man with a swirling cloak, a long staff, and a wispy grey beard. Someone familiar, wise, ancient, 8-bit."
His reason for not changing this may be the best part of his thought process:
"I would keep it positive. I wouldn't want to be rich. I wouldn't want to be poor. I wouldn’t want to change things, no matter how bad or good they get. I don't believe in fate or destiny; I believe that we are all creatures of endless possibility."
Diego Fildes Torrijos, Product Marketing Specialist, Product Mktg
Like Zack Mutchler's Day 15 entry (https://thwack.solarwinds.com/community/solarwinds-community/contests-missions/december-writing-challenge-2018/blog/2018/12/14/day-15-proverbs-quotes-and-general-silliness), Diego chose to inspire his younger self with wisdom culled from the words of others.
Diego pre-pends his list of quotes, however, with some deeply insightful thoughts about the nature of life, passion, empathy, and goals. I found the most powerful one to be this:
"Do not regret listening to and empathizing with people that do not know how to do the same back. This is anyone’s greatest strength, because you learn from listening to others."
Tiffany Nels, Chief Communications Officer
Tiffany's mantra to her younger self, "Compare and despair," is only made more impactful by the incredibly personal examples she uses to illustrate her journey to this piece of wisdom.
I thought her admission that she is imperfect in following her own advice sometimes, but continues to try, was wonderful and refreshing. But her description of the impact on her life when she could achieve it was what made me go back and read the entire essay again.
"I stopped sweating every tiny difference, every little choice, and just settled into what was right for me."
Mark Roberts, MVP
Mark struggled a bit with the idea of offering advice to his past-self that might mess up all that was good in his future, but I loved his reasoning for this. He was less concerned about sci-fi concepts and more about the impact to his current self: "Preventing negative thoughts, which most often come from looking back at regrets from your past, can have dramatic impacts on people’s lives." However, he also reasons that "you learn more from your mistakes than from your successes." And with that in mind, he powers through his doubts to send that note to his 1985-self.
While his advice did include a few very specific items (Take the train to Manchester, and say "yes" to the dance invitation at the Rose Wilmot Disco), the real insight comes when he tells himself to embrace who he is. His introverted (shy) nature is not the weakness that he thought it was in his youth. Instead, "Many of the positive things you achieve in life and the influence you have on your family, friends, and relationships are based on your thoughtfulness and empathy."
*** The Comments ***
Hang on for a wild ride. The world lays before you at 25... Stay alert for the hidden opportunities that await you.... they can and will be the best.
As one English Major to another...Use your skills to help meaningfully communicate to others... 41 years after graduation it is an integral part of what I do each day.
Thanks for sharing. There's a lot of wisdom in your post. Don't let anyone discount your wisdom because of your age. Stay level headed!
Sometimes in life you get to where you are, then decide that it's not where you wish to be. I know I’ve been there. I changed path a little later than mid-twenties, but the sentiment is the same. Just be honest with yourself, as whilst at 25 or so, you think you know everything. Truth is, that you learn each and every day, until the day you die, or at least that's what I’ve learned so far. Who knows what tomorrow will teach me.
Very insightful write-up. It is amazing how much influence people in one position of leadership or authority could have on us growing up. This is a wakeup call in using such position wisely and also to us to encourage ourselves and others not to settle for less. Excellent work is rewarding. It is surely OK to push yourself.
"Never let others tell you to stop or quit trying to improve yourself." So true. We so often give others power over our lives. Most of the time we have the power to move forward or change things, but if we give others power over ourselves we will eventually lose power ourselves, or at least feel so strongly that we have lost our own power that it will take something big or major to get power back into our lives. The best way to prevent this is by being proactive along the way. "Never let others tell you to stop or quit trying to improve yourself."
I had two teachers in high school that made all the difference. One taught math the other physics, both Jesuit priests. Both believed in me! Both unlocked my desire to do better. Both gently push me and that made me push myself even harder. The younger George only vaguely appreciated their efforts. The older George acknowledges their insight and vision of me in the future.
It takes courage to set aside the world's predisposition on yourself. It takes getting over fears. But, even in later life, you do want to strive to "Be Adventurous." Sometimes it takes life knocking you down to come to that realization.
"Happy Christmas!" A very European greeting. It reminds me of Christmas's long ago, making calls to my Scottish and Australian aunts and uncles around Christmas. I don't hear it enough anymore... Be adventurous indeed! Europe offers wonderful advantages by having so many different countries in close proximity. You can be exposed to so much and you don’t have to travel very far. Kudos to you.
Ich wollte mal Arzt werden...daher auch noch der „HerrDoktor“, eigentlich hätte ich das auch gerne probiert, aber Elektrotechnik/Informatik war so schön einfach in der nächstgelegenen Stadt zu studieren. Und ich dachte mir, mit dem Auslands-Schuljahr in den USA war ich doch schon abenteuerlustig genug. Ich gebe dir Recht, man kann nie genug Abenteuer haben, mein pickelgesichtiges jüngeres ich hätte ruhig auch abenteuerlustiger sein können! In diesem Sinne: frohes Fest! Auf den nächsten Glühwein im nächsten Jahr.
It has always been my philosophy to accept responsibility for my actions and move on. It doesn’t help me to dwell on those actions, whether good or bad. Each day is a new day and new challenges will come with it. I can learn from the past, but I can’t change it. Understanding this and focusing on the future are important to me.
On a somewhat unrelated note, esteemed CNN journalist Jake Tapper started a tweet thread a couple of weeks ago by announcing that this is about the time many high school seniors find out that they have been rejected by their first choice in universities. But they should not to be disappointed because it can be a hidden blessing. Fellow journalists, other media types, politicians, entertainers, and athletes tweeted back 1,000's of times with stories of how first rejections turned out to be a great success. In the end, things work out. Twitter
I believe that I am here to enjoy life and, in doing so, bring as much joy and comfort to those I interact with as possible. I am not responsible for their emotions, but I should try not to do harm. Like the little thing about making those shirts meech is reacting to in Radioteacher's picture above. I sought the input of fellow MVPs and felt I had the will to make it happen. It wasn't just her seeing us wear the shirts, it was the way we all felt wearing them for her and the whole UX team. Fantastic! That was enough.
Be reasonably confident, above all, to protect yourself from stupidly confident people.
OMG - This all the time! Then they see your doubt as weakness instead of your experiencing informing you that things never go exactly as planned. At the same time, I have been stupidly confident about something, but thank Galileo for #7 in your list jamesd85, I listened enough to learn I was wrong.
Number 1 is the hardest...how many people can truly say they love what they do...
You’ll never be happy until you find your passion. My father thought he wanted to go into business management. He obtained his degree and was given a great opportunity. In the end he was stressed, miserable, and unhappy. He left an opportunity to become JCPenney’s youngest store manager to pave roads where he grew up. He was never happier. Doesn’t matter what you end up doing. It just needs to be something that makes you happy. Each career decision I’ve made has reflected on this and each has been promising. No job is perfect, but there is one right for you.
We need to be comfortable in our own skin and accept the fact that we are each unique. It's healthy to take an honest assessment of where you are and where you want to be, but when your only goal is to be the carbon copy of someone else… then that's when it takes the unhealthy route.
Social media started really becoming a "thing" when I was in middle school and high school, and has become something of an addiction for me and for many in my generation. It's so easy to compare our lives to other peoples on social media, but it's important to remember that what you see on social media is NEVER the full story. Social media is merely a filter through which we present the parts of our lives that we want other people to see, "like," and comment on. I am happier when I am off social media (I have a horrible habit of coming back to it though), and that's probably because I am subconsciously comparing my full life to the selected parts of their life that people are sharing. Your advice, to take a step back before comparing, is going to be at the forefront of my mind the next time I pop on Facebook!
Very insightful, and kudos for finding your solace! I strongly believe that a significant level of discomfort in our lives comes from us looking over the fence at what we perceive to be greener pastures (and the ones we think are less green; judging others is exhausting). I've learned, mostly through failure, that appreciating my own blades of grass is much more satisfying than worrying about my neighbors'. I'll be here if they need help watering, but otherwise I wish them well and hope for the same.
It's nice that you would use the letter to encourage yourself. I too am an introvert and it often feels like that's the "wrong" way to be. But I've learned to accept (and love) the way that I am. Now I have the freedom to be who I am and not worry about it.
Introverts unite! Our shyness is our power. I am thankful every day that I married a fellow introvert. I can't imagine how stressful life would be otherwise.
"Say yes to that dance" is good advice for almost any young person.